Over the weekend, my social-media-and-storytelling pal Thomas Clifford sent me eight Twitter followers. This influx of followers finally convinced me that I should follow all the folks who have been following me.
So why wasn’t I following them earlier? It’s hard to explain. Ever heard of the FIRO-B assessment? Among other things, it measures one’s “inclusion factor,” one’s need for recognition, belonging, and participation. My inclusion factor is zero, according to the FIRO-B. I don’t know why. I know the times I have felt a sense of belonging in my life have been rare, but I also highly value the times I have felt like I belonged. I also know that my zero inclusion factor doesn’t stop me from being involved in many social-media venues and having a fair number of friends and contacts.
Further, my social-media “hub” of choice is Facebook. That’s where I prefer to see all the status updates and “tweet-like” reports from my friends. Unfortunately, not all of the friends and acquaintances whose activities interest me are on Facebook, and not all of those who are on Facebook synch their Twitter tweets with their Facebook statuses. (Thomas Clifford, if you’re reading this, you’ll know why I felt you were reading my mind when you Facebook-friended me this weekend.)
I’ve been on Twitter almost a year, and the only person I have followed in all that time is a former student whose well-reasoned argument about why I should follow him I rewarded by doing just that.
I just got to the point where I felt it was rude not to follow those following me. Happily, I found tools to quickly get me past my rudeness — Twitter Karma, which enabled me to follow all my followers with a couple of mouse clicks, and Twitter Later, which enabled me to automatically follow anyone who follows me, as well as to send a welcoming direct message to new followers. Twitter Later also sends me a daily digest of @replies directed at me. When I got the first one, I realized I had ignored several followers who had sent me @replies.
So, please forgive me Twitter followers, for not not following you before this past weekend and for ignoring some of your messages. I promise to do better in the future.
Yes, this post’s relation to storytelling is pretty darned marginal. I contend, however, that everyone this post addresses (and all other Twitterers) are telling their stories 140 characters at a time.
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Hi Kathy,
What's your twitter name? I'm not finding you but want to follow.
Thanks!
Casey
Hooray for Will Schutz and the FIRO-B. It changed my life and gave me more self acceptance and understanding than any other assessment tool.
I'm kat_hansen on Twitter for any who wish to follow.
I'm not sure automatically following everyone is a good thing. I follow the people that have will have direct connections for me based on their expertise. For those followers I don't follow, I usually go back through once a week or so and just start randomly browsing their Twitter streams. Sometimes there are things that make me add them to those I follow.
If someone really intrigues me, I add the RSS stream from their sites to my feedlist- that's where I find the real meat of the matter.
When I follow someone, I have no expectation that they'll follow me back. I followed you, Kathy, because your work intrigues me. Getting a follow back from you was just icing on the cake. If you quit following me tomorrow, I would still follow you.
Another interesting post here on your blog. Thanks.
Sean
http://www.twitter.com/storyteller
Awww, thanks, Sean. That's sweet. I agree that automatically following may not be the best approach, but I'll try it for now and see how it goes. I can always unfollow followers with whom I don't seem to have a valuable relationship. There's something about the automatic follow, though, that fits in with my previous don't-follow-anyone mindset.
Hi!
You say your "Inclusion Factor" is zero, but it that expressed Inclusion, or wanted Inclusion, or both?("Inclusion" and the other areas aren't really "factors", but whole 2D matrices consisting of two factors: e and w)
If it's both, then you are what they would call a "Loner", (also known as the classic "melancholic" temperament), but SOCIALLY only. For one thing, a low score doesn't mean you NEVER want to interact. You just want the interaction much less compared to others. Also, if you say you've valued feeling you've belonged, that could be the AFFECTION area, rather than Inclusion. A person with a low Incusion, but high Affection will have a few friends, but be more open with those chosen few. As far as "being involved in many social-media venues and having a fair number of friends and contacts", that could be a number of things, including even the CONTROL area. Just think why you are involved in those things, if you rarely feel you belong. It could also be a low Expressed/high Want combination in Inclusion and Affection. . You want it, but don't express the need, other people don't know you have the need, so it is not as met as you would want it to be. But you enjoy it when others initiate.
This is why FIRO is a great system, though it is not that popular. It breaks down our interaction in those ways.