A couple of years ago, I wrote about a study that suggested children who have imaginary friends have more advanced narrative skills than those who don’t.
I lamented that I had not had an imaginary friend, while both my sisters had. My son had an “old family” that had been killed in an explosion, and he was often quite emotional about missing them.
In telling the heart-wrenching story in The New Yorker of his infant daughter’s rare form of cancer, novelist Aleksander Hemon weaves in the thread of his elder daughter Ella, age 3, and the imaginary friend, Mingus (actually an imaginary brother), who emerged during this painful time for the family. Hemon writes:
It is not unusual, of course, for children of Ella’s age to have imaginary friends or siblings. The creation of an imaginary character is related, I believe, to the explosion of linguistic abilities that occurs between the ages of two and four, and rapidly creates an excess of language, which the child may not have enough experience to match. She has to construct imaginary narratives in order to try out new words that she suddenly possesses. Ella now knew the word “California,” for instance, but she had no experience that was in any way related to it; nor could she conceptualize it in its abstract aspect — in its California-ness. Thus, her imaginary brother had to be deployed to talk at length as if she knew California. The words demanded the story.
My son was a late talker, really not using words before about age 2. Perhaps new linguistic abilities are especially explosive for a child like him, requiring the narrative of his “old family” to provide experiences for his new words.
In the case of the Hemon family, Mingus also provided a way for Ella to process the terrible thing that was happening to her baby sister and provide her with comfort. Although Hemon ultimately finds story construction of no value in the isolated world of his baby’s illness, he recognizes that Ella’s need to spin stories is similar to what the author does as a fiction writer:
Listening to Ella furiously and endlessly unfurl the Mingus tales, I understood that the need to tell stories was deeply imbedded in our minds and inseparably entangled with the mechanisms that generate and absorb language. Narrative imagination — and therefore fiction — was a basic evolutionary tool for survival. We processed the world by telling stories, produced human knowledge through our engagement with imagined selves.
Indeed this need to tell stories is deeply embedded. But why do some of us have imaginary friends and others don’t? Why do some of us become fiction writers and others don’t?
There is more than one way to engage with our imagined selves.
Entry by Kathy Hansen. Learn more.

As I read the
One of his major premises in the book is that our conscious minds comprise the tiniest portion of what goes on in our brains:
I don’t think his post is still around, which is a good thing because if if were, I’d be stewing and seething about it even more than I already am all these years later. I will admit that I made the statement in a rather clumsy and cringe-worthy fashion.

















