Human Need for Storytelling Behind Debunked “Stages” Theories, Scientists Say

So, it turns out that “stages” theories, particularly Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s well-known five stages of grief, have no basis in research, according to Michael Shermer in Scientific American.

We humans apparently come up with these stages because, Shermer writes, “we are pattern-seeking, storytelling primates trying to make sense of an often chaotic and unpredictable world.”

Kubler-Ross’s grief stages aren’t the only ones to come under question; also on the line of fire are Freud’s five stages of psychosexual development, Erik H. Erikson’s similar eight stages, and Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.

Shermer quotes social psychologist Carol Tavris:

“In developmental psychology, the notion of predictable life stages is toast. Those stage theories reflected a time when most people marched through life predictably: marrying at an early age; then having children when young; then work, work, work; then maybe a midlife crisis; then retirement; then death. Those ‘passages’ theories evaporated with changing social and economic conditions that blew the predictability of our lives to hell.”

Second, Tavris continued, “is the guilt and pressure the theories impose on people who are not feeling what they think they should. This is why consumers of any kind of psychotherapy or post-traumatic intervention that promulgates the notion of ‘inevitable’ stages should be skeptical and cautious.”

Shermer concludes by saying: “Stages are stories that may be true for the storyteller, but that does not make them valid for the narrative known as science.”

So, stages apparently exist only in the mind of the people living them. No reason we can’t all document our own stage stories. From a psychological standpoint, how would you characterize the stages of development, moral growth, or grief you’ve experienced?

Q&A with a Story Guru: Karen Gilliam, PhD, Part 5

See a photo of Karen, a link to her bio, and Part 1 of this Q&A, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.


Q&A with Karen Gilliam, PhD (Question 5):

Q: Given that some of your story work is with individuals, and given that Sankofa Symbolism embraces redefinition, to what extent do you support the concept: Change the story, and you can change your life.”

I absolutely believe in this statement. As human beings we have freedom of choice. We are not robots. Even as we are presented with certain circumstances, we still have the choice of how we react and respond and what story we tell. It is the latter – the story – that occurs first and where we don’t stop to question.

One symbol frequently associated with the first interpretation of the term Sankofa is the Sankofa bird [Editor’s note: Pictured here], which is also referred to as the bird of passage. This mythic bird is a bird that is looking behind it. This represents the fact that although the bird is constantly moving forward, it continually looks behind it – to its past, with an egg (symbolizing the future) in its mouth. Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, who is the past president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, having retired in 1977 after 40 years of dedicated service, once visited our church and shared this message: “If you don’t know where you come from, you won’t know when something is trying to take you back.” So while you don’t want to hold the egg too tight or risk breaking it; don’t hold it too loosely either.

Sankofa can be translated in various ways:

  • No matter how far away one travels, s/he must always return home.
  • It is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot.
  • To move forward, you must reclaim the past.
  • We should reach back and gather the best of what our past has to teach us, so that we can achieve our full potential as we move forward. Whatever we have lost, forgotten, forgone, or been stripped of, can be reclaimed, revived, preserved and perpetuated.
  • In the past, you find the future and understand the present. And, in doing so, we can change the story and change our life.

Story Prompts for Transmitting Values

Dr. Paul White recently wrote at length about using stories to transfer values from one family member to another (he wrote the post over the Christmas holidays, suggesting that period as a particularly good time to undertake this values transfer.)

Eventually White concludes:

An excellent way to share important principles and values is through storytelling. Although listing principles in bullet form works well in articles and books, that is not typically how we talk conversationally …

Of course, story experts like Annette Simmons and Steve Denning have written extensively about using stories to transmit values. Simmons refers to the “Values in Action” story, while Denning talks about “using narrative to instill organizational values.”

I like Dr. White’s family emphasis on the values story, and especially the prompts or “story starters” he suggests that families might tell. Presumably family values are embedded in these types of stories:

  • Memories you have about your grandparents — things you used to do with them.
  • Character qualities or talents you remember about your parents or grandparents.
  • Something special you remember getting or doing on your birthday when you were growing up.
  • Vacations you went on as a child and any memorable events that occurred on them.
  • What Christmas was like when you were little — what were the traditions at your grandparents’ homes?
  • How you met your spouse; about your dating / courtship / engagement; the early years of your marriage — where did you live, what kind of work did you do?
  • Some jobs you had when you were younger — including positive lessons and negative experiences.

Friday Wordle for a Freezing Nation

The entire US seems to very cold. Here in Central Florida, January is usually our coldest month, but this month began with unseasonably warm weather. While not enjoyable, it is somehow fitting that we are finally experiencing typical January temperatures. We’re not as cold as the rest of the nation, but for us thin-blooded Floridians, it’s pretty darned cold.

All of which has very little to do with this week’s word cloud/tag cloud from Wordle.net based on A Storied Career. But here it is:

Will Obama Tell a Sticky Story Tuesday?

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by brothers Dan and Chip Heath is not exactly news; the book came out in 2007.

But it’s worth revisiting on the eve of Barack Obama’s inauguration as US president, in part because the Heath’s most frequently cited example of a “sticky” idea is JFK’s 1961 proposal to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade. Given that Obama has often been compared with JFK — and is a good storyteller — we can hope that the president-elect uses his inaugural speech to introduce narratives about ideas that will stick as well as the moon-landing story did. The most likely idea relates to energy independence. How will Obama attain our buy-in?

It’s worth noting that fully half of the Heath’s six basic traits of sticky ideas are story-related, as reported in the McKinsey Quarterly. Here are the three that scream out “story” (I added boldface for emphasis):

  • Concreteness. Abstract language and ideas don’t leave sensory impressions; concrete images do. Compare “get an American on the moon in this decade” with “seize leadership in the space race through targeted technology initiatives and enhanced team-based routines.”
  • Emotions. Case studies that involve people also move them. “We are wired,” [Chip] Heath writes, “to feel things for people, not abstractions.”
  • Stories. We all tell stories every day. Why? “Research shows that mentally rehearsing a situation helps us perform better when we encounter that situation,” Heath writes. “Stories act as a kind of mental flight simulator, preparing us to respond more quickly and effectively.”

[Image from ImageChef.com via http://doug-johnson.squarespace.com/]

Q&A with a Story Guru: Karen Gilliam, PhD, Part 4

See a photo of Karen, a link to her bio, and Part 1 of this Q&A, Part 2, and Part 3.


Q&A with Karen Gilliam, PhD (Question 4):

Q: Joan Southgate turned you onto Sankofa Symbolism, which your Web site talks a bit about. Can you elaborate a little on how you use this Sankofa Symbolism in your story work?

A: If you stop to think about, for example, a coaching practice, performance consulting, leadership development, or a post-project review, certain steps, like first becoming self-aware, gathering the facts, or reflecting on what was learned, are recommended. Each on its own accord stresses the importance of examining the past and present in anticipation of a desired future. This is Sankofa.

We don’t always know what we don’t know. We don’t often think about our own thinking or how we come to know what we know. Consider the Ladder of Inference. In lightning speed we select from all the available data what we will focus on. We add meaning, that is create a story, through a lens of the world that reflects our beliefs, experiences and personal histories. The theme of Sankofa centers on the importance of going back — retracing our path — to the past in order to understand the present. As stated by Anais Nin “we don’t see the world as it is. We see it as we are.”

Q&A with a Story Guru: Karen Gilliam, PhD, Part 3

See a photo of Karen, a link to her bio, and Part 1 of this Q&A, and Part 2.


Q&A with Karen Gilliam, PhD (Question 3):

Q: Your doctoral dissertation focused on the influence of the story of Joan Southgate, “the 70+ year old African-American grandmother, educator, social worker, and community activist, who walked 519 miles of the underground-railroad.” How did you come across her, and how did you decide to focus your doctoral research on her journey?

A: A good friend who was involved in the planning of the last leg of Ms. Southgate’s walk invited me to his home to meet her. It’s quite startling how we imagine someone might look based on limited prior knowledge and assumptions. Her story of traveling the path of the underground-railroad had become so large that I imagined her to be of the same stature, but when she stood for our informal introduction, I saw that she was short, petite and unassuming in her demeanor. What she lacked in height was more than compensated for in her presence, strength of character and unwavering belief in what she was doing.

Her storytelling reminded me that rather than discounting or ignoring my heritage, I needed to recognize and reclaim its richness and goodness. I needed to know from whence I came, find and reestablish my voice in articulating a self-claimed Black identity, and then support others in finding voice, gaining control of their existences and becoming all they were meant to be.

My story of Joan Southgate’s story is only one version. It’s based on what I paid attention to and on what I needed in order to make meaning in my life. Recognizing this truth led to my foreshadowed question: What is the impact of story on the listeners and why do they react the way they do? From a knowledge-application perspective, I hoped to uncover how business/community leaders could better connect with those they’d like to influence in some way and how storytelling could be used for a social movement.

When Tech Stories Meet Marketing Stories

Here’s another quickie roundup, this time on convergences among tech products, marketing, and storytelling:

    • Who knew that GMail was story-worthy (though I have learned to no longer question any story application)? GMail users tell their stories here. Actually, it’s not so odd to tell stories about an e-mail application, but why GMail over any other? The site offers success stories about job-hunting using GMail, collaborating with a co-author in a faraway land, saving a relationship with a girlfriend, communicating with a spouse serving in Iraq, and much more. It’s not clear, though, how GMail makes these email communications more successful than another email application would.
    • Also in the Google realm, “The T-Mobile Google Phone demonstrates one of the best uses of storytelling for business I have seen in quite a while,” according to The Story Lady, Ronda Del Boccio, who goes on to say: “This is absolutely brilliant use of storytelling.” She’s referring to the video here. You have to watch a bit for the storytelling to unfold — for example, a little scenario in which a guy is locked out and Googles an all-night locksmith on his Google phone. You hear players’ voices, but the video focuses on the phone, as though the actors in the story are invisibly using the phone’s touch screen. I’d have to agree — it’s good storytelling.
    • Staying with the cellphone theme, this time the Apple iPhone, Kevin Fox writes at Fury:

When Apple releases a product, you know it’s released. You know its features, you know its character, you know its story, because Steve Jobs told it to you. You know whether you want it and you know how you feel about it even if it will be weeks before you actually see or touch one.

Fox contrasts Apple’s storytelling with other cellphone manufacturers’ failure to tell their products’ stories. His bottom line is: “Don’t let people who don’t have your best interests at heart tell your story to your customers.” (It’s interesting to read Fox’s reflections — from Dec. 19, 2009 — in light of Apple’s pullout and Jobs’s nonappearance at MacWorld.)

Q&A with a Story Guru: Karen Gilliam, PhD, Part 2

 

See a photo of Karen, a link to her bio, and Part 1 of this Q&A.


Q&A with Karen Gilliam, PhD (Question 2):

Q: What future aspirations do you personally have for your own story work? What would you like to do in the story world that you haven’t yet done?

A: I’ve become a lot more conscious in my use of story and find that I gravitate toward processes, tools, and curriculum that honors story. Most recently I’ve been facilitating workshops in an organizational environment and working with a young ladies’ mentoring group in the community. Each of these venues respects and honors the individual’s story and in different ways helps participants to recognize their stories and the power that they have to write and re-write their stories.

We all have a story to tell, a chapter that is yet to be completed or written. I need to capture in writing, in journal or workbook format, what I’ve been experiencing through my own story work and that of others who share a kindred spirit in storytelling. I believe that people, especially our young people, are yearning to find their own voice, to know that they have a unique purpose in life and to be connected to some one or some thing greater than self.

Using story and storytelling to say what people have in their minds and hearts; to allow them to see something they’ve not seen or imagined before (raising their sights, unlocking potential, focusing on possibilities); to find hope and invite others to do the same; and to cause them to want to struggle for some shared aspiration is storytelling leadership. This is a concept, first introduced in my dissertation, that I plan to further examine as a part of my volunteer work with Restore Cleveland Hope, a non-profit organization whose mission is to restore the last known pre-civil house located in Cleveland, Ohio, into an underground-railroad teaching center.

What Story Does Your T-Shirt Tell?

My new online friend Thaler Pekar turned me on to Re-Shirt, a site that sells used t-shirts and the stories that go with them. Here’s a fuller explanation from the site:

The Re-Shirt is different from its used compatriots in that it has a story to tell. It all starts with a T-shirt that someone associates with a special memory: an important career step, an unforgettable football match, a demonstration in Guatemala, the feeling of an entire stage in their life. These shirts are collected, quality inspected, and put on display at Re-Shirt. When one of these shirts is purchased, it is given its very own orange Re-Shirt Label, a number is printed on it, and it begins a new registered life. Every future owner can now document the experiences they have with their Re-Shirt online and continue the story of this piece of clothing.

The site, based in Vienna, Austria, is also all about sustainability: “the longer your shirt is in use,” the site states, “the more it helps to keep existing cotton resources in circulation.” In addition, “10,000 liters of water are needed to produce a new cotton shirt. Re-Shirts save resources in a completely new way. Every Re-Shirt story makes a difference.”

The bottom line — and the convergence between story and sustainability is this question: “Do products last longer if you know their history?”

Apparently folks donate shirts to the site, which then affixes orange Re-Shirt Labels and a number and sells the shirts.

A few of the many stories attached to shirts offered on the site include a shirt given by an ex-boyfriend, a shirt obtained at a porn convention, a shirt that has traveled throughout the world, and one from a Hopi Indian reservation.