This month’s O Magazine offers a 4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You’re Meant to Be in which Step 2 comes from well-known lifestyle/career coach and author Barbara Sher [UPDATE: Sher passed away in 2020]. She calls this exercise “a new twist on something [she] call[s] the Self-Correcting Life Scenario.”
In my new workbook to accompany my book, Tell Me About Yourself, I offer
lots of story-based self-assessment exercises (in fact, that subject area expands the scope of Tell Me About Yourself because assessment wasn’t covered in the book).
In all my exercises, the user is the one telling stories about himself or herself to discover possible career paths. Sher’s technique takes a partnered approach in which the partner tells the user’s story. After you as the user ask the partner to name three of your strengths:
Tell your friend your top passion. Then have your friend tell an imaginary story of your life, based on this passion and your strengths. For instance, “You’re organized, creative, and friendly, and your passion is baking. So, you run a bakery where customers can buy cupcakes with little icing portraits of themselves.”
After you offer your partner feedback on what you like and dislike about the story …
your friend revises the story based on your feedback. … Keep going back and forth until the story feels right. This may take three or 13 rounds — there’s no need to rush. Your friend will likely suggest unexpected scenarios. Don’t let knee-jerk objections (“That would cost too much!” “When would I have time?”) shape your feedback. This is about crafting a scenario tailored to your strengths.
Finally, you and your partner arrive at a completely satisfying story. “You’ve just shaped your passion into a goal and defined what you do and don’t want from your calling.”
Sher doesn’t elaborate on the advantages of having someone else develop your story. My speculation would be that another person would be able to think beyond the limitations we often place on ourselves.
Image credit: Monika Aichele