Over 70? Columnist Wants Your Story

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New York Times columnist David Brooks isn’t framing his request as “stories,” but rather as essays providing “a brief report on your life so far, an evaluation of what you did well, of what you did not so well and what you learned along the way.”

Nonetheless, Brooks is asking for these essays from folks over 70, and he plans to write columns about them at Thanksgiving time, as well as post as many as possible online. Septuagenarians can send their stories to dabrooks@nytimes.com.

His purpose is twofold. First, he wants to provide an opportunity for folks to conduct self-appraisal because our culture provides few formal opportunities for us to do so. Secondly, Brooks feels the essays will provide lessons to younger folks about “how a life develops, how careers and families evolve, what are the common mistakes and the common blessings of modern adulthood.”

Though I don’t always agree with his politics, I find Brooks to be a very smart guy. I look forward to learning what he comes up with

Appreciative Inquiry for Job Search

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Last week, I attended a workshop on Appreciative Inquiry, which I thought would be a little more focused than it was on using AI in the job search.

Appreciative Inquiry is not specifically a storytelling tool (and actually not a tool at all, but “a way of being and seeing,” as The Center for Appreciative Inquiry notes), but the kind of inquiry initiated during the process often results in storied responses. I know of at least one significant story practitioner who got her start as a follower of Appreciative Inquiry.

Since the workshop wasn’t exactly what I was expecting — but it stressed constructionism (“There are many realities out there, each constructed from a different view of the universe. They become real and palpable only when we put words to them”), I decided to construct my own expected reality from what I learned and see what I could learn about how AI might be useful in job search.

Appreciative Inquiry for building a positive view of work life. In Discovering Your Positive Work Self Through “Appreciative Inquiry”, Karma Kitaj, PhD, particularly focuses on those who have been laid off and are struggling to find a new job. Those folks can ask themselves questions like these:

Describe a time(s) in your life that you remember as a high-point experience, when you were totally engaged and felt alive and vibrant.

What do you value most about yourself and your work?

What are the factors that give life to the organization where you work now or most recently worked?

Imagine your work life in a year from now, exactly as you’d like it to be, your dream job. What have you contributed to make this dream job come true?

In sum, the point of such inquiry is this:

What is the positive story that you can create about your life circumstance today? What do you appreciate about yourself, about the people you come in contact with, about the environment you live in, about all that you value? Expand upon that narrative and live it today.

One company, ODC Associates, even provides appreciative outplacement and career-transition services in which “Our appreciative approach (built on the Appreciative Inquiry change model) not only helps those who are departing but ensures that corporate survivors can move forward productively with the knowledge that their former colleagues were treated with respect and fairness.”

Appreciative Inquiry for conducting a values-based job search. In How to Do a Values-Based Job Search, Nancy Archer-Martin suggests that job-seekers focus on values and strengths and tell stories in interviews to spotlight strengths.

Appreciative Inquiry for “staying connected to your true direction and finding the right job.” That’s the suggestion of Duncan Ferguson in Appreciative Inquiry. “I believe the AI approach should also be taken by individuals as they look at their jobs and careers. Understand what’s right about your skills, competencies, characteristics and values,” writes Ferguson, who also offers some useful resources on AI.

Appreciative Inquiry for “reconnect[ing] with the core elements of who we are and what makes us special.” Dan Shepard uses AI in coaching senior executives in transition, noting in Appreciative Inquiry for Career Development:

The AI process, when integrated with more traditional executive self assessments, which are focused on identifying individual motivators, interests, personality preferences, values and dreams, is very productive at getting to the heart of who someone is and enabling them to find their “wow” position.

Appreciative Inquiry for self-assessment and constructing positive accomplishment stories. AI is clearly a great way to get at the career directions that will really make us happy, as you can see from these sample questions that came from Dr. Cal Crow’s handout from the workshop I attended:

  • When have you been the happiest? What made that such a happy time?
  • When have you felt the most productive?
  • When are you at your very best? What’s going on when that occurs?
  • Can you describe a situation when things went better than at any other time?
  • What was special or different about this experience?
  • What did you say or do to make this special?
  • Who else was part of this? What did they say or do?
  • What would it take to create a similar situation today?

These and similar questions would also be effective in brainstorming accomplishment stories that an individual could discuss in a job interview.

Appreciative Inquiry is often used with organizations — focusing on what the organization does well rather than on its problems — but many of the inquiring questions directed at organizations can be adapted for individuals. I have a pricey book on my Barnes & Noble wish list that offers lots of sample questions: Encyclopedia of Positive Questions Volume One: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Bring out the Best in Your Organization. A Google search on Appreciative Inquiry questions also yields tons of inquiries.

November is Lifewriting Month

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So Denis Ledoux reminds me in a newsletter (The Lifewriter’s Digest) from his Soleil Lifestory Network.


I’m not sure how I got on the mailing list for this newsletter, but I’m glad I am because it is absolutely packed with content:

  • Memoir Prompts for November 1-5
  • 8 Tips…to Get You to a Fast Start Writing Your Memoir
  • Free Celebratory Tele-Classes for November Lifewriting Month.
  • Free Audios
  • A Writing Blog to Follow
  • Memoir Professionals in Action for November is Lifewriting Month
  • Opportunities to Develop Your Writing

The free teleclasses may be of particular interest:

Tele-Classes available FREE but registration is required.

November 3 ~ Write the First Draft of Your Memoir: Get Started and Keep Going.

7-8 PM/ET November 10 ~ A Roundtable Discussion with Nina Amir, who runs the November is Non-Fiction Month blog. This program is hosted by the National Association of Memoir Writers.

4-5 PM/PT (7-8 PM/ET). Go to the NAMW site to register.

November 17 ~ Polish Your Memoir: Add Metaphors and Imagery 7-8 PM/ET.

To register, call 207-353-5454 or e-mail.

In a separate email, Denis sent an offer to download the free report You Deserve an Autobiography.

I was also interested to note that Denis is based in the same town in Maine where my sister lives.

This Storied Career Assessment Lets Someone Else Tell Your Story

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This month’s O Magazine offers a 4-Step Guide to Discovering Who You’re Meant to Be in which Step 2 comes from well-known lifestyle/career coach and author Barbara Sher [UPDATE: Sher passed away in 2020]. She calls this exercise “a new twist on something [she] call[s] the Self-Correcting Life Scenario.”

In my new workbook to accompany my book, Tell Me About Yourself, I offer lots of story-based self-assessment exercises (in fact, that subject area expands the scope of Tell Me About Yourself because assessment wasn’t covered in the book).

In all my exercises, the user is the one telling stories about himself or herself to discover possible career paths. Sher’s technique takes a partnered approach in which the partner tells the user’s story. After you as the user ask the partner to name three of your strengths:

Tell your friend your top passion. Then have your friend tell an imaginary story of your life, based on this passion and your strengths. For instance, “You’re organized, creative, and friendly, and your passion is baking. So, you run a bakery where customers can buy cupcakes with little icing portraits of themselves.”

After you offer your partner feedback on what you like and dislike about the story …
your friend revises the story based on your feedback. … Keep going back and forth until the story feels right. This may take three or 13 rounds — there’s no need to rush. Your friend will likely suggest unexpected scenarios. Don’t let knee-jerk objections (“That would cost too much!” “When would I have time?”) shape your feedback. This is about crafting a scenario tailored to your strengths.

Finally, you and your partner arrive at a completely satisfying story. “You’ve just shaped your passion into a goal and defined what you do and don’t want from your calling.”

Sher doesn’t elaborate on the advantages of having someone else develop your story. My speculation would be that another person would be able to think beyond the limitations we often place on ourselves.

Image credit: Monika Aichele

No Story No Fans Adds Richly to Story-in-Business Conversation

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When Raf Stevens first challenged me to present more examples of good storytelling two years ago this month, I scarcely imagined I would later get involved in his effort to produce an important new ebook in the applied-storytelling space.

I had criticized the lack of storytelling quality among the winners of a slideshow contest, and Raf wanted to know what elements would have contributed to better stories. Raf’s question sent me on a quest that resulted in at least seven blog posts in which I explored the question of what makes a good story — especially in presentations.

Now, in his just released ebook, No Story No Fans, Raf devotes a whole chapter to what makes a good story.

I’m honored to have played a small part in this book’s development; I wish I had done more. Raf asked me to do several things for the book that I ended up not doing, but I think other shining stars in the story world did those things better than I would have.

Raf has created a remarkable compendium on the value of storytelling as “the New Trade.” In an attractive, accessible, reader-friendly volume with many extras (such as QR codes!), he frames the book as “start of a conversation” rather than a how-to; yet he offers tons of how-to suggestions.

Raf also includes the thought leadership of the most brilliant luminaries in the storytelling world. The chapter on the ROI of storytelling is a treasure unto itself.

Here are 10 ways this book really stood out for me:

  1. Its generosity of spirit. I have found that most story practitioners freely give away their work and ideas. Raf does so with No Story No Fans, as illustrated in the early oages of the book, where he writes, “You are given the unlimited right to spread this story. Feel free to copy parts from this book or to distribute it via email, your website, or any other means. You can print out or scan pages and put them in your favourite coffee shop’s windows or your doctor’s waiting room. You can transcribe my words onto the sidewalk, or you can hand out copies to everyone you meet.” He also gives away a preview of the book on its Web site.
  2. Some of the best-known and highly touted books about using story in business are surprisingly light on … stories. The same cannot be said of Raf’s book, which offers a cornucopia of stories.
  3. Bulleted lists of lessons in red type provide easily digestible how-to information.
  4. Chapter 3 about what makes up a good story is must reading for anyone interested in applied storytelling. Raf uses excellent examples to vividly illustrate what makes a good story. He also quotes participants in my Q&A series on how they define story.
  5. Raf nicely sums up each chapter with an “elevator pitch” at the end.
  6. Case studies in Chapter 4 illustrate some of the many ways story can be used effectively in business.
  7. Raf introduces his own model for storytelling, The Matryoshka Principle, based on nested Matryoshka dolls: “Like the nested dolls, re-storying your company, or even yourself, can only be successful if you take all layers of the power of storytelling into consideration.”
  8. Raf teaches practitioners to get at those layers through exercises.
  9. The book’s “checklist to help you design your (bigger) story” is a gem, though I wish it were longer.
  10. The list of “7 bullet points on why storytelling is useful in a business context” in the penultimate chapter sums up why this book is so valuable; through the learning gained in No Story No Fans, practitioners can apply stories to each of these contexts.

The site for No Story No Fans is also a terrific new resource, with lots of ways to connect and learn, including extended book content.

Best Use of Story I’ve Ever Seen in an Ad … Maybe

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When I first saw the ad below in the New Yorker, I was blown away by its use of story elements. The headline, “I had a hunch there was more to it,” sets up the story and draws the reader in. The fact that the rest of the story appears to be handwritten on lined paper (or perhaps an index card) gives it an authentic feel.

The “handwritten” copy is a bit hard to read, but the premise is that “Steve,” a successful executive affirms his hunch that there’s more to life than all his successes when he enters Columbia’s General Studies program. You can get a feel for it in a shorter version.

As much as I was drawn to the ad, my developing appreciation for what makes a story tells me the ad isn’t really a story. Tests and definitions established by folks like Karen Dietz, Shawn Callahan, and Sean Buvala would affirm that the ad doesn’t quite measure up as a story. Still, it has storied elements, and it isn’t hard to imagine more of the story from these beginnings.

Some readers, however, may find the executive protagonist, Steve, loathsome. That’s the view of Auden Schendler, who last year wrote that Steve is a sociopath. “He’s completely self involved,” Schendler writes. “He’s solipsistic to the point of toxicity.” The ad, Auden says, “speaks, frankly, to the worst inclinations of idle elite Americans, the clueless folks who’ve suddenly decided to read the classics — that’s their great mission in the world.”

In any case, I find the ad’s tagline, “Continue your story,” apt for an academic program that welcomes older adults.

Q&A with Two Story Gurus: Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff: Tell Stories You Love

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See a photo of Graham and Dorian, their bios, Part 1 of this Q&A, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Q&A with Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff, Question 5:

Q: If you could share just one piece of advice or wisdom about storytelling with readers, what would it be?

A: Never tell a story you do not love because nobody else will like it. Share the stories that move you and allow time for discussion: insights gained when groups share their own understanding of the story and apply it to their work situation, are invaluable.

Q&A with Two Story Gurus: Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff: The Story Net Will Spread Wider and Deeper

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See a photo of Graham and Dorian, their bios, Part 1 of this Q&A, Part 2, and Part 3.

Q&A with Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff, Question 4:

Q: What future trends or directions do you see for corporate storytelling? What would you like to do in the emerging story world that you haven’t yet done?

To lapse into linear time for a moment, we expect that the storytelling movement will continue to grow exponentially, that cross-country and cross-culture collaboration will increase.

To different degrees, corporations are already deriving the benefits of using story to present their corporate history and values, inspire employees, enliven training, formulate scenarios, engage and emotionally connect with customers through depth marketing, elicit metaphors, sell products and services, co-create marketing launches, capture knowledge-management information and wisdom, build community and internal relationships, harness diversity, build social and emotional intelligence, develop mindfulness and imagination for innovation…………..This story net will spread wider and deeper. And more and more educational institutions will offer storytelling and story-listening programmes.

As the movement grows we predict calls for professional standards, controls, and conformance. In a sense, this is disturbing because story demands freedom and should be driven by personal ethics.

As to what we would like to do — fewer “quick fixes” in the form of workshops and limited coaching and mentoring — and more depth interventions that lead to the instilling of a sound corporate story culture and practices.

Q&A with Two Story Gurus: Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff: Quacks Use Stories to Manipulate Colleagues and Clients

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See a photo of Graham and Dorian, their bios, Part 1 of this Q&A, and Part 2.

Q&A with Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff, Question 3:

Q: Are there any current uses of storytelling that repel you or that you feel are inappropriate?

A: Inappropriate practices can of course harm the profession. There are both doctors and quacks in the exploding world of corporate story-ing. We think that quacks tend to focus on entertaining, winning, impressing. Quacks use stories to manipulate colleagues and clients. Doctors are more into sharing, expressing, conveying and capturing wisdom and insight — and blend the art/science of story with real business understanding and acumen.

Perhaps there is a gentle way of encouraging those who make noise not music, to look inside?

There was once a small boy who loved banging his drum all day and every day. He refused to be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various people were called in to do something, to find the answer to this disruption, to solve the problem.

The first told the boy that he would surely, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. The second told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be reserved only for special occasions. The third offered the villagers plugs for their ears.

Someone gave the boy a book to read. Another suggested meditation exercises. Yet another offered more harmonious musical instruments. Nothing worked.

Eventually a wise old woman asked of the boy, “I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?”
(Idris Shah)

Benjamin Franklin: “People are best convinced by reasons they themselves discover.”

Q&A with Two Story Gurus: Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff: Watching the Storyteller Emerge in Others

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See a photo of Graham and Dorian, their bios, and Part 1 of this Q&A.

Q&A with Graham Williams and Dorian Haarhoff, Question 2:

Q: What do you love most about stories?

A: We are enchanted by the power of story to move people, the way that story has the ability to attract, engage, inform and enlighten. How this small container can trigger such huge, and valuable conversations. How stories promote attentive listening. How they stimulate a thinking environment (as advocated by Nancy Kline), and also provide a place of safety to encourage deeper sharing in the workplace. How they activate our imagination. And imagination creates reality for intention can create form. As Einstein reminds us, imagination is more important than knowledge. This touches on how we can create a fictional identity. We can become the stories we tell about ourselves. As Clarissa Pinkola Estes points out: “Most (stories) are not used as simple entertainment……..but used in many different ways; to teach, correct errors, lighten, assist transformation, heal wounds, re-create memory.”

We try to do all this in a subtle, non-intrusive manner.

We get excited when the storyteller emerges in another. The way we find our own voice and our own unique way of telling. We’ve come a long way since corporate story was limited to scenario formation, case studies and “war stories.” The way we tell can lead us into living a passionate life, personally and professionally.

We also like the way story has emerged since its origins and appeared throughout history in all cultures, religions and societies; how cross-pollination has taken place through Rumi, Idris Shah, Buddha, and social media; how myth, folklore, metaphor and images are embedded in the psyche. Of course for each country there is an accent too on difference, and in each country story is penetrating medicine, psychology, and the corporate world at a different pace and in different ways. In each corporation story is attracted to different functions and levels to different degrees!

So we like the challenge of the story-Rubik-cube: deciding and designing what approach and which stories for which purposes.